


Now I finally know

by HoshiNoNe



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Gen, M/M, MAMA!AU, Near Death Experiences, bff!Kyungmyeon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-15
Updated: 2017-09-15
Packaged: 2018-12-30 02:19:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12098553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HoshiNoNe/pseuds/HoshiNoNe
Summary: Junmyeon knows that his and Jongdae’s powers don’t fit and fights against his feelings as much as he can to save them both - but when the moment of truth arrives he realises that he doesn’t have the heart to say no, even if his life depends on it.





	Now I finally know

**Author's Note:**

  * In response to a prompt by Anonymous in the [cc_round4](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/cc_round4) collection. 



> **Prompt:**
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> Jongdae and Joonmyun are in love with each other, but with their powers, they've found that they can't touch each other at all. 
> 
> (You can modify the prompt as much as you like)
> 
>  **Do Not Want:** sad endings
> 
> AN: Hello everyone! After all kinds of hardship, I finally made it~ (*≧ω≦*) I just wanted to say a few things before letting you all read my story: The most important thing is that I was heavily inspired by exo's song Thunder when writing this, and to the prompter, thank you for giving me the oppurtunity to write a suchen mama!au, I've wanted to do that for the longest time! And you said it was okay to do whatever I wanted with it, so I hope I didn't abuse that too much haha :) And since I didn't have a beta, I'll say sorry now for all the mistakes I've probably made! Also a big thank you to the mods for answering every one of my questions in the nicest way possible - I've had a super fun experience taking part in this challenge!! ( ´ ▽ ` ).｡ｏ♡ And lastly, I really hope you all like this as much as I liked writing it~ Have a nice day!

 

 

_Love knows no difference between life and death. The one who gives you a reason to live is also the one who takes your breath away._

 

_Mirza Asadullah Khan Ghalib_

 

\---

 

 

It wasn't love at first sight, of that Junmyeon was sure. It really couldn't have been, he insisted when the others asked him or when Jongdae said anything about it, because he had only seen the boy for about a second, and since Junmyeon firmly believed that love is something that builds over time then it really wasn't enough with a second no matter how grumpy Jongdae got when he said that.

He remembers talking to Minseok when he saw the yielder of thunder for the first time - just a quick glance and a coy smile before he disappeared and Minseok began to laugh at his confused state.

"I may not be their leader, but I am the oldest and apparantly that demands some kind of respect." Junmyeon doesn't acknowledge the playful burn but is still staring at the closed door behind Minseok.

"I wasn't aware that anyone but you could see me. Who was that?"

"That was Chen, his power is thunder." Minseok is no longer laughing and a sudden air of seriousness makes Junmyeon tear his eyes from the door to look at him again. "When we unite, you'll do best if you stay away from him, okay? Water and thunder don't go well together, after all."

Those are the exact words Junmyeon hears from Kyungsoo a while later when he returns to the living room after the conversation is over, and his best friend gives him a stern look when he doesn't answer.

"I know that you don't want to be mean to anyone, but you are so nice you're almost stupid and in this case you have to promise me not to get involved. We cannot lose our leader."

"You speak of it as if it is the only thing I am to you."

"You know that you're not."

"I know that you know."

All jokes aside, they smile at each other and Junmyeon promises to let the boy he saw in the mirror be, and he's completely convinced that he will be able to keep that promise. Surely it couldn't be as bad as Minseok had described it.

He only realized how wrong he was when it was too late.

 

Soon they are all united and Junmyeon is filled to the brim with joy - his head is spinning, his ears are ringing and his smile is so wide it almost hurts. Slightly disoriented by all the moving bodies and loud noises he takes a step back to try and take it all in, but there's something else there poking at his senses, demanding his attention, and it isn't until he finds himself in Minseok's embrace that he realizes his body is vibrating and his eyes fall on the boy who carries the thunder.

"Close call," is everything Minseok says before hugging him tightly, and Junmyeon feels the humming slowly disappear as his friend leads him away from the others.

"You were serious," he breathes into Minseok's ear.

"Of course I were, I know how strong Chen is already and I don't want him to kill you before I even get to say hi."

"Does he not know how to control himself? Does he hurt you too?" Junmyeon is still a little dizzy and mildly terrified but he has to ask this since he knows Minseok's power is a lot like his own.

"He knows how to control it most of the time. He has hurt me a couple of times, not at all much but enough for me to be worried about you."

"That's nice to know that someone other than me keeps an eye on him." Kyungsoo comes up behind Junmyeon to put his hand on the small of his back and smiles at Minseok in greeting. "Perhaps it is possible to let go of the burden a little."

Junmyeon is about to answer him when he sees the thunderboy approaching them with a smile on his kitten-ish lips and just like that the humming returns. The boy reaches out to take his hand, not taking any notice to either Minseok or Kyungsoo.

"Hi! I'm Jongdae, nice to see you face to face." The touch and the words send vibrations down Junmyeon's back but Kyungsoo's hand stop them so Junmyeon manages to smile a little despite the discomfort of having the boy so close to him.

"It's nice to meet you too, Jongdae. I'm Junmyeon and I'm the leader of this group."

"I know." Jongdae winks at him and lets go of his hand. "I have to say you look way more handsome in real life than in that mirror." He laughs loudly at Junmyeon's shocked face and leaves them with a wave to go greet Baekhyun and Chanyeol by the tents.

"I take it back, it's not going to be possible to let go of the responsibility. Not at all." Kyungsoo's hand leave Junmyeon's back and he clenches it hard.

"I agree."

In any other situation Junmyeon would have told them both off, saying that they didn't need to worry so much and that he was fully capable of taking care of himself, but right now he still feels currents of electricity run lighly over his skin so the words do not leave his mouth. He's scared, he realizes that, because this turned out to be a lot worse than he had initially thought.

"Promise me, promise _us_ , that you won't get involved with Jongdae more than absolutely necessary." Junmyeon nods absentmindedly at Kyungsoo's words, his eyes still fixed on the laughing boy by the shore and his skin still burning from his touch.

 

Keeping his promise turned out to be more difficult than Junmyeon was prepared for, because even if Jongdae was loud, nosy and teased everyone about everything he also had a very nice and lovable side to him. You simply couldn't dislike him, and Junmyeon would have been fine with that if it weren't for the fact that Jongdae was also very absent-minded - because even when the other members of the group recognises Junmyeon's fear of him Jongdae fails to notice it even once.

Luhan is the first one to notice, much thanks to his closeness with Minseok. Baekhyun is the next to realise despite having the image of taking nothing seriously, and Yixing is also very quick to pick it up. After that they all slowly come to understand the situation without Junmyeon actually having to tell them - everyone except Jongdae.

When Yifan lifts Junmyeon up in the air or Jongin teleports him away from Jongdae's hands, the boy only laughs and says he wants to do it too. Sehun throws them to the ground with his winds, Luhan makes Jongdae lose his focus, as do Baekhyun and Chanyeol who becomes best friends with the thunder boy not only because they like him, but to protect their leader as well. Still all Jongdae does is misunderstand and he becomes even more playful, making it even harder for Junmyeon. That's why Minseok and Kyungsoo are always by Junmyeon's side, not daring to leave him alone for even a moment when Jongdae is around.

They live like that for a while, staying in the same place and trying to get used to each other as a twelve man group, but everyone knows that they can't stay there forever so when Junmyeon gathers his members one day to tell them about his moving plans, noone disagrees. Junmyeon may share the role as their leader with Yifan, but when things are to be decided now that they are together Junmyeon's opinion matters the most and there are usually no problems with accepting that. But when Junmyeon mentions that he wants them to move the camp manually they can't stay quiet.

"Can't we just use our powers like usual?" Jongin says, always happy to teleport himself everywhere, and Sehun nods next to him. Junmyeon shakes his head at the two youngest boys, he has already made up his mind.

"No, we can't. I want us to do things for real as much as we can so we can get used to living here, and right now I need someone to accompany me to the well to help me get some water for the trip." Immediately a hand springs up in the air and Jongdae is shouting in glee.

"I'll do it!" Minseok and Kyungsoo gives their leader warning glances but Junmyeon just nods before he starts walking, well aware that Jongdae is following close behind him without having to look.

The two of them walk in silence until they reach the outskirts of the forest and Jongdae leans against the edge of the well while his leader lets the first bucket go down. Junmyeon's body is vibrating slightly now that he's so close to Jongdae, but since it's still managable and he doesn't really know how to bring the subject up nicely he keeps quiet.

Jongdae (although unintentionally) comes to his rescue.

"You know, when we met for the first time it felt like there was something fizzling between us." Junmyeon quickly looks up at him and Jongdae laughs. "So you felt it too?"

Junmyeon can only nod, unable to lie now after exposing himself, and Jongdae smiles widely at him.

"Then that has to mean we're meant to be together." Junmyeon jumps a little at the sudden exclamation, almost dropping the second bucket down the well.

"Aren't you exaggerating a little?" He desperately tries to avoid looking at Jongdae, heat colouring his cheeks, but as usual Jongdae doesn't seem to notice his distress and scoffs at him.

"As if you'd have something better to explain it with."

"Well, maybe it has to do with our powers, that we have water and thunder respectively." Jongdae puts his head in his hands and looks like he's seriously thinking about it, but then he shrugs and smiles again, making Junmyeon's racing heart skip a beat.

"You do have a point, but I still think there was more to it than that," Junmyeon pulls the second bucket up and swiftly begins to carry it back to the camp.

"Whatever, I believe in the water and thunder theory."

"You're so boring." Junmyeon turns around at that but only finds Jongdae smiling warmly and Junmyeon can't help but smile back when he catches up to him, bucket in his hands and lightness in his steps and just enough space between them for Junmyeon to just feel an almost pleasant humming in his body.

He catches himself thinking on the way back that he wouldn't mind if things were to be like this between them, and then chastises himself for it, but after seeing Jongdae's smile directed at him he can't help but feel a little hopeful.

 

Of course Junmyeon is terribly wrong, because it goes overboard almost immediately. The morning after the trip to the woods they begin to move the camp, and Jongdae is happier than usual and clings to everyone he sees, which is why Junmyeon resorts to hiding in his tent until he thinks the coast is clear.

He barely manages to take a step outside before he feels the familiar buzz and Jongdae appears in front of him.

"There you are!" He says loudly, meaning to sound cheerful but it only makes Junmyeon panic and he steps out of his way as fast as he can.

"Don't do that! Don't you remember what we talked about yesterday?" Junmyeon's voice is wobbling the slightest bit, but when Jongdae gives him a puzzled look he wills himself to calm down and it becomes more steady. "Water and thunder, Jongdae, we need to be careful!"

"Aw, it can't be that bad~" Jongdae reaches out for him again and Junmyeon feels the buzzing increase dangerously fast now that Kyungsoo isn't here to protect him, and he shouts out in fear.

"I'm serious, Jongdae!" And this time the younger boy actually listens to him, because his hands stills mid-air and a grimace replaces his smile. Junmyeon suddenly misses that smile a lot, and he grabs his chest in pain when Jongdae gives him a hurt look.

"You don't have to scream, I get it - you're scared of me." Junmyeon opens his mouth to protest, but he really can't deny what Jongdae is saying so he just looks at him for a while before managing to say a small "I'm sorry," because right now he feels like the worst person on the planet for making Jongdae lose his ever present smile.

"Don't be." Jongdae says softly before turning around, leaving Junmyeon standing alone outside his tent.

A sigh escapes his lips after a moment of silence.

Maybe it was better like this after all, with them not being close to each other - Junmyeon's life wouldn't be in danger, and to be honest he did feel pretty bad about making his friends protect him all the time. This was probably the best solution, Junmyeon tries to tell himself, but his hand doesn't leave his chest.

If this is what he wants and knows is for the best, then why does his heart hurt so badly at the mere thought of it?

 

When they've finished moving their camp they decide to rest, and Kyungsoo is the quickest to stand by Junmyeons side like always. Junmyeon hasn't told the other boy about his encounter with Jongdae this morning, he doesn't see the point of it since they don't even talk any more, but Kyungsoo still watches him suspiciously before leaning in to whisper in his ear.

"Tell the others that we'll have to share tents tonight, and that I'll be sleeping with you." The words are barely audible, but there's a silent order in them and since Junmyeon trusts his best friend with his life he obeys him without a second thought. He gathers everyone and tells them that they may choose whoever they want to share tents with but that he'll be sharing with Kyungsoo, and when he dares to look in Jongdae's direction his heart plummets because the boy still looks devastatingly sad. Then Minseok is there to touch his shoulder comfortingly and Jongdae smiles at him.

The heavy sigh rolling over Junmyeon's lips catches Kyungsoo's attention.

"You know this is for your sake, and Jongdae is a grown man - he can sleep with someone else." Junmyeon almost feels like laughing at himself - since when did he become so pathetic? He shouldn't be bothering about Jongdae turning his back on him since they weren't even close from the beginning, but if his heart is hurting so bad that Kyungsoo notices something's wrong... he takes a deep breath before looking at his best friend.

"It's not that, but I understand." He gives him a small smile before taking his hand in his. "You're so loyal to me, it feels like I'm using you."

"You're not," Kyungsoo is quick to answer and he looks him sternly in the eyes. "I'm doing this of my own choice, and I do it because I don't want to lose you." Junmyeon feels genuinely moved and he turns to embrace Kyungsoo, but he doesn't miss the dark look Jongdae is throwing them over his shoulder before returning to Minseok's side and Junmyeon isn't sure what he's feeling more upset about.

The thought of not being able to be near Jongdae, the fact that he won't be anyway since they don't talk anymore or the fact that he seems to get on so much better with Minseok.

 

Everything is up when twilight arrives and after having supper they part for the night. Junmyeon walks straight into his and Kyungsoo's tent, trying his best to avoid Jongdae and just muttering goodnight to everyone he bumps into, and when he arrives he almost throws himself onto his bed. Kyungsoo is already lying beside him and he turns to face him, wordlessly offering him his hand and Junmyeon takes it gratefully.

Junmyeon has almost fallen asleep when he's bothered by a gust of wind. He's not very fond of cold so he's thinking about getting up to check what's causing the draft when his body begins buzzing and then he's wide awake, clutching Kyungsoo's hand in panic.

"Junmyeon, you awake?" Junmyeon turns around, not even bothering to pretend to sleep, and he hears Jongdae let out a relieved sigh. "Thank goodness." Jongdae comes closer and squats beside him, touching Junmyeon's hair gently.

"Jongdae, what-"

"Schhh..." Jongdae goes down on his knees and hovers above him, and the hand that had caressed his hair now moves down to touch his cheek. Junmyeon swallows and tries to control his body that is vibrating so much that he's having a hard time hearing what Jongdae is saying.

"You didn't say good night to me, so I thought I might do it instead." Junmyeon reads his lips, strangely aware of how they move now that his hearing has been cut off, and then there's no sound coming out of his mouth when Jongdae closes the distance between them to press a light kiss to his lips.

Junmyeon's hands are sweaty and he's clings to Kyungsoo's hand for dear life, terrified of losing the the only thing that keeps him alive, and he shakes so violently that he's unable to scream. Jongdae doesn't seem to notice and he slowly raises himself up after caressing his cheek once more, giving him a cheeky smile before disappearing out of the tent.

Junmyeon is left in the darkness, in cold sweat and he has trouble breathing. He feels Kyungsoo's hand slipping out of his own but he pays no mind to it. Soon he sees Kyungsoo's big eyes looking into his own, trying to find him where he's taken cover, and after a while Junmyeon finally manages to look back. He tries to speak but the words are stuck in his throat, next to the thickness that makes his eyes tear up and then Kyungsoo is embracing him.

"It's alright, Junmyeon..." His best friend's words and calm breaths makes Junmyeon slowly relax and he realises he's crying. The tears steadily fall off his face down on Kyungsoo's shoulder, and then Junmyeon manages to speak.

"I was so scared..." Kyungsoo squeezes him harder.

"It was good that you held my hand."

"I'm sorry, Soo, I.. I didn't realise... but you always knew..." The words comes out irregularly and his voice is thick with sadness and fear.

"You don't need to apologize for that, you can't help loving someone." To Junmyeon it sounds like Kyungsoo has come to a conclusion of some kind, but he's way too overwhelmed to register the actual words and so he just continues to cry into his shoulder.

"I just... can't bring myself to say no to him... I can't stand seeing him sad..." Kyungsoo sighs deeply and then pulls him close again, resting his head atop Junmyeon's.

"Let's just hope then that the moment where your yes will kill you never comes."

 

The day arrives sooner than expected. Yifan had been out to scout their surroundings but hadn't returned, and when Junmyeon began to worry he gathered them all together to get the people he needed to go on a rescue mission.

"We need to split," he says while looking at the others. "The ones that can help the most with this situation are coming with me, and the others will hold the fort here. Since I am the leader I will have to go, and I decide who joins me and who's staying." He looks for any signs of disagreement but finds nothing so he continues.

"Sehun comes with me, since Yifan most likely will be flying and you can help him while being up in the air. Zitao, your power is always a great asset so you're needed today, and Jongin will join us for the same reason. Kyungsoo and me will go because we can help if it's needed out in the ocean or on the ground." He continues to watch the members intently, making sure they understand his orders and don't interrupt him.

"Yixing, you stay here since it is of very big importance that you can operate in the right circumstances if anything should happen. Minseok, I trust you to lead everyone while we're gone. Chanyeol and Baekhyun, you're going to be our defense together with Luhan, and Jongdae-" he stutters a little when he remembers the previous night and seeing the boy's grimace only makes it harder - "you also need to stay here. Where we're going your thunder will probably hurt more than help." Jongdae turns his head and stomps off, and slowly everyone follows suit, although not as fiercely as Jongdae had done. Soon the only ones left are Junmyeon, Kyungsoo and Minseok.

"You're doing the right thing, Junmyeon." Kyungsoo sounds so sure but Junmyeon isn't, because he's been thinking about this a lot and came to the conclusion that Jongdae's visit last night had been an act of forgiveness and that the younger boy had probably hoped for a better reaction from him - he actually felt really bad about everything right now and he knew that he had to sort things out with Jongdae, but sadly that would have to wait until they had saved Yifan.

"Jongdae's an adult and can handle being told off every once in a while." Minseok's words makes Junmyeon snort. Was he really that transparent?

"That doesn't help making me feel like a better leader." Kyungsoo puts a hand on his shoulder.

"Maybe it doesn't, but you need to think about yourself too. If Jongdae was to join us and we'd end up by the sea it's you who will be in danger, not Yifan." Junmyeon has nothing to say about that so they just look at each other, sharing a smile before Minseok slaps his back.

"Let's get going then. The sooner you save Yifan, the sooner you'll be back with Jongdae."

Junmyeon doesn't know whether to be happy or sad by that statement.

 

They find Yifan flying in circles above the sea not too far from the camp, too exhausted to talk or even look at them and that's probably why he hasn't landed and changed back into his human form - he simply couldn't out of tiredness. They decide to push him in the mildest way possible so that if they were lucky they could force him into collapsing on the shore. Sehun is already on his way, starting to direct his winds towards Yifan to try to steer him back, and Junmyeon walks closer to the beach while the others stay back to enter the battle when they're needed.

That's when Junmyeon feels the air crackle around him and a clap of thunder booming in the distance, and his heart jumps up in his throat.

"Jongdae?" He whispers, almost losing himself in the buzzing feeling that haa come to be so fear-inducing and yet so soothing to him, but he manages to break free from it and his eyes dart around the shore. He finds the boy almost immediately, standing with his arms outstretched towards the sky, creating bolts of lightning at such a speed Junmyeon begins to seriously worry. The thunder was coming closer, he could hear Yifan growling at it and despite being very afraid Junmyeon takes a step towards Jongdae - but is hindered by Kyungsoo's rock hard grip on his arm.

"He will exhaust himself!" Junmyeon screams at him, his voice almost drowning in the loud thunder that is soon to be right above them.

"Junmyeon, you can't! You'll die!" Junmyeon hears Kyungsoo's words but he isn't really listening to them, and his eyes never leave the view of Jongdae at the beach. 

"Well I can't just stand by watching him die!" And then he manages to break free from Kyungsoo's grip and begins running down to where Jongdae is standing. He hears Kyungsoo shouting and beginning to run after him, but he knows he's faster than his best friend and it is with a both heavy and sure heart that he begins to increase his speed.

He's never been more sure of anything in his life.

He slows down when he starts feeling currents fizzle down his skin and throws his arms out to collect a large amount of water. It obeys his command and raises slowly while Junmyeon loses the feel in his arms, and with a scream he throws it towards Yifan. The dragon turns towards him but it's too late - the electricity in the air is drawn to the water and travels quickly towards the big body and with a big slam it hits it, countless bolts of lightning decorating the sky.

The world lits up for a moment, and in that very moment everything becomes clear for Junmyeon.

He has tried to deny his heart for too long, refusing to realise that there was something else between them, let his fear steer him and hinder his own emotions, but still he had managed to fall in love with Jongdae somewhere along the way, and so hard that he was now willing to sacrifice his own life to save him.

"Jongdae, I-"

Thunder, it silences the world around him and his body vibrates uncontrollably for a second, the air leave his lungs, scorching heat, Jongdae turns around, something touches his back-

and then everything turns dark.

 

"NO!" Jongdae is awakened from his trance by the sudden shout and turns around. He's having some trouble with seeing clearly due to the bright explosion that just happened, but when his blurred vision slowly becomes better all of the anger and excitement he was previously feeling disappear immediately at the sight before him.

Kyungsoo is sitting on the beach not far from him, holding a limp Junmyeon in his arms. Smoke is rising from his clothes and his hair is sticking up in all directions, and Jongdae realises what he has done. Slowly he goes near them and falls to his knees. Junmyeon's skin is still as white as it had been before, probably thanks to Kyungsoo saving him at the last moment, but the scent of burned hair is strong and the air is still sizzling with electricity.

"Why?" The words fall out of his mouth like a whisper, making Kyungsoo look up at him with teary eyes.

"You still don't understand?" His voice is layered with anger, but not the aggressive kind - only the most sorrowful one, and that only makes Jongdae feel worse.

"Understand what?"

"You don't go together, you and Junmyeon, you're water and electricity, how can you not know that?!" By now the others have catched up to them and Sehun holds Kyungsoo back.

"But it worked before-"

"Because we protected him, yes!" Kyungsoo almost spits the words out, and Jongdae notices some drops of water (maybe tears?) falling on Junmyeon's face. He looks like he's sleeping peacefully, it's just that Jongdae can't see his chest heave anymore. He is suddenly overcome with numbness despite his mind reeling, and he can't bring himself to react to Kyungsoo's words.

"We all helped protecting him from you, as good as we could, hoping that you'd come to realise what was going on and why. But we were wrong, both we and Junmyeon." Kyungsoo lets a finger trace Junmyeons cheek before locking gazes with Jongdae, his dark and sad eyes staring into his soul.

"He loved you, even if he didn't realise it himself we all knew he really did."

Jongdae can't breathe, it feels like something is clawing harshly at his chest and he just can't sit still anymore, and with tears streaming down his face he reaches for Junmyeon.

 

Kyungsoo is momentarily lost in his sorrow and doesn't notice when Junmyeon's body is from him, but when he looks up and sees Jongdae carrying their leader towards the sea he jumps up. He knows what Jongdae is about to do, and he also knows what he has to do, even if his heart is breaking at the thought of leaving his best friend.

"Everyone, hold on to me!" He feels two pairs of arms grabbing him - probably Sehun and Zitao, since Jongin teleported back with the wounded Yifan - and Kyungsoo closes his eyes as he prepares for the worst.

"JUNMYEON!" He doesn't know where his shout ends and Jongdae's begin, but it never ends and the world is coloured white. Currents go through his body without hurting him much and he tries his hardest to keep himself upright for the other's sake.

A tear trickles down his cheek and falls to the ground together with the slowly increasing rain.

 

Finally Jongdae understands how bad it had been. The seriousness in Junmyeon's face while they were by the well which Jongdae had thrown aside as their leader being boring. His terrified face when he tried to play with him. The other's attempts to protect him that had only seemed like games to him. Him saying nothing as Jongdae kissed him. And Kyungsoo who had always been at Junmyeon's side, not to claim him for his own but to protect his best friend's heart.

Jongdae can't take it any longer and throws his head back to screams his sorrow out to the sky. Junmyeon is laying unmoving in his embrace, his head just slightly moving from side to side. The worst thunder had already passed but Jongdae manages to produce a couple of more claps and lightning bolts before the rain starts falling.

It is like the water itself is crying over Junmyeon, and Jongdae lets his own tears join them as they fall down on his beloved's face.

 

Hot, while pain surges through Junmyeon's body and makes the darkness dissolve. His chest is hurting and he notices he can breathe again, which leads him to trying to get some air into his paralyzed lungs. His eyelids flutter and he can't help but cough weakly as the air passes his dry lips and throat.

In the distance he can hear thunder, the power that killed him, but now there's only rain falling and Junmyeon has never felt more alive.

"Jongdae!" is the first word that form on his lips, left from the moment before his heart stopped beating, and when he sees who's holding him he almost startles. Jongdae is quick to let him go and sits down a few metres away, just looking at him with a scared look in his eyes. Traces of rain and tears are visible on his face and Junmyeon reaches out to dry them but Jongdae draws away.

"Junmyeon, please, you won't believe how happy I am that you're alive, but... I killed you, how can you expect me to behave like before?" Pain and guilt is evident in Jongdae's voice but Junmyeon isn't having any of that, not right now.

"I don't." he simply says, and then he draws closer to him and puts his hands against Jongdae's cheeks.

Nothing happens.

"There's nothing left, right? Of your strong emotions." Junmyeon smiles sadly. "You're out of power for the moment so I'll try to be quick. I love you, Jongdae. I tried my hardest to prevent myself from falling in love with you but now I finally understand that it was all in vain."

He presses his lips against Jongdae's, relishing in the feeling of finally being able to touch him for the briefest moment before a the smallest current appears between them, making Junmyeon draw back - but his hands are still cupping Jongdae's cheeks and he mantains eye-contact with him.

"I may be your leader and may be willing to risk my life for every single one of you, but in my heart I am also willing to sacrifice everything to be near you and love you with all my heart. Maybe I can't do it now, but I know that I will still try my hardest - it doesn't matter what you say." He's barely finished speaking when Jongdae throws his arms around him, making him shout in surprise, but soon they are hugging each other hard, trying to make the most of this precious moment where nothing Jongdae does can hurt Junmyeon.

"Do you have any idea for how long I've wanted to hold you like this?" Junmyeon begins to smile as he nuzzles into Jongdae's shoulder, tears threatening to spill over and join the light drizzle that's left of the storm.

"No, but I can imagine."

 

Out of the twelve members they are the ones that simply doesn't go together - not because they don't like each other, quite the contrary, but their powers makes it almost impossible for them to be close to each other.

Water and thunder. Water and electricity. Water that conduct electricity faster than you can blink and that is sure to destroy everything in it's path. Where Baekhyun, Chanyeol and Jongdae have similar powers and only can enhace each other, Jongdae's thunder could kill Junmyeon. Just like that. If he wasn't careful he could accidentally kill their leader, their anchor and friend.

It was the last thing Jongdae wanted, and still he had managed to kill Junmyeon once.

He's standing on the very beach where it happened, turned towards the sea to look out into the night with Junmyeon by his side. The lighning shines brightly in the distance, and despite his attempts to make a really big storm before Jongdae still feels small currents dance along is arms. He notices Junmyeon jump in the corner of his eye every time it happens, but he doesn't move away.

None of them wants to move even a millimetre.

He feels rather than sees Junmyeon's hand reaching for his, his power leaking out the tiniest bit at his right side.

"You know that you're in deep water, right?" He doesn't dare to look at Junmyeon, concentrating on managing his power, but he does hear the small smile in the answer he gets.

"I know, but I'm known for being a good swimmer. And it hurts being the only one who can't touch you." Jongdae snorts at his leader's bad joke, but smiles sadly afterwards.

"As much as it hurts for me?"

"Even more." Jongdae feels Junmyeon's hand touch his for a second, and when he hears him suck in a breath he is quick to turn only to be met with a triumphant smile. Jongdae smiles back before they both turn towards the sea again.

"You're not mad at me?"

"Should I be? If this hadn't happened I wouldn't have realised my love for you." Junmyeon sighs. "I do feel sad for Yifan though, I didn't mean to hurt him but I wasn't thinking clearly at the moment... I'm happy he's okay though and that noone was hurt too bad."

"You know I killed you, right?" Junmyeon turns to smile at him, both playfully and reassuringly.

"Maybe you did kill me, but you also brought me back to life. And that's what matters to me." And despite all the sadness and guilt in his heart, Jongdae can't help but feel happy, and so he smiles his brightest smile at Junmyeon.

"I love you, Junmyeon."

"I know, and I love you too, Jongdae."

This was surely enough for now, but they were both willing to try this out, and that gave them hope.


End file.
